It is easy for parents to identify their child's physical needs:
lots of good food, warm clothes when it's cold, bedtime at a
reasonable hour. However, a child's mental and emotional needs may
not be as obvious. Good mental health allows your youngster to
think clearly, to develop socially and to learn new skills.
Additionally, suitable playmates, encouraging words from adults and
guidelines for behavior are all important for helping your child
develop self confidence, high self-esteem, and a healthy emotional
outlook on life.
Basics for a Child's Good Physical Health:
Basics for a Child's Good Mental Health:
Give Your Child Unconditional Love.
Love, security and acceptance should be at the heart of family
life. Your child needs to know that your love does not depend on
his or her accomplishments. Mistakes and/or defeats should be
expected and accepted. Confidence grows in a home that is full of
unconditional love and affection.
Nurture Your Child's Confidence and Self-Esteem
Praise Your Child Encouraging your child's first steps or his or
her ability to learn a new game helps your child develop a desire
to explore and learn about his or her surroundings. Allow your
child to explore and play in a safe area where they cannot get
hurt. Assure your child by smiling and talking to him or her often.
Be an active participant in your child's activities. Your attention
helps build his or her self-confidence and self-esteem.
Set Realistic Goals
Young children need realistic goals that match their ambitions
with their abilities. With your help, older children can choose
activities that test their abilities and increase their
self-confidence.
Be Honest
Do not hide your failures from your children. It is important
for youngsters to know that we all make mistakes. It can be very
re-assuring to know that Mom and Dad are not perfect.
Avoid Sarcastic Remarks
If your child loses a game or fails a test, try to find out how
he or she feels about the situation. Your youngster may be
discouraged and need a pep talk. Later, when your child is ready,
talk about a new way to play the game or study.
Encourage your child not only to strive to do his or her best,
but also to enjoy the process. Trying new activities teaches
children about teamwork, self-esteem and new skills.
Make Time for Play!
Encourage Your Child to Play To a child, play is just fun;
however, playtime is as important to your child' s development as
food and good care. Playtime helps your child be creative, learn
problem-solving skills and learn self-control. Good, hard play,
which includes running and yelling, is not only fun, but helps your
child to be physically and mentally healthy.
Children Need Playmates
Sometimes it is important for your child to feel like "one of
the gang." By playing with friends, your child discovers his or her
strengths and weaknesses and develops a sense of belonging and how
to get along with other children.
If there are no children in your neighborhood, you might find a
good children's program through neighbors, local community centers,
schools, or your local parks and recreation department.
Parents Can be Great Playmates
Join in the fun! Playing Monopoly or coloring with yow child
gives you a great opportunity to share ideas and spend time
together in a relaxed setting.
Play for Fun. Winning is not as important as being involved and
enjoying the activity. One of the most important questions to ask
your child is "Did you have fun?" not "Did you win" ln our
goal-oriented society, we often acknowledge only success and
winning. This attitude can be discouraging and frustrating to
children who are learning and experimenting with new activities.
It's more important for children to participate and enjoy
themselves.
TV Use Should Be Monitored
Try not to use TV as a "baby-sitter" on a regular basis. Be
selective in choosing television shows for your child. Some shows
can be educational as well as entertaining.
School Should Be Fun!
If your child is about to start school, "playing school" can be
a positive way to give him or her a glimpse of school life. Try to
enroll your child in a good pre-school, Head Start, or similar
community program which provides an opportunity to be with other
kids and make new friends. Your child should learn academic basics
as well as how to make decisions and cope with problems. Teachers
should encourage individual development and help children become
competent, healthy adults.
Provide Appropriate Guidance and Instructive Discipline.
Your guidance and discipline should be fair and consistent.
Appropriate Guidance
Children need the opportunity to explore and develop new skills
and independence. At the same time, children need to learn that
certain behaviors are unacceptable and that they are responsible
for the consequences of their actions. As members of a family,
children need to learn the rules of the family unit. They will take
these social skills and rules of conduct to school and eventually
to the workplace.
Discipline and Punishment
Physical punishment may lead to resentment and more
disobedience. It is extremely important for parents to learn and
develop disciplinary skills, other than spanking or hitting.
Suggestions on Guidance and Discipline:
Provide a safe and secure home.
It's okay for children to feel afraid sometimes. Everyone is
afraid of something at some point in their life. Fear and anxiety
grow out of experiences that we do not understand. If your child
has fears that will not go away and affects his or her behavior,
the first step is to find out what is frightening your child. Be
loving, patient and reassuring, not critical. Remember: the fear
may be very real to the child.
Signs of Fear
Nervous mannerisms, shyness, withdrawal and aggressive behavior
may be signs of childhood fears. A change in a child's normal
eating and sleeping patterns may also signal an unhealthy fear.
Children who "play sick" or feel anxious regularly may have some
problems that need attention.
Fear of school can occur following a stressful event such as
moving to a new neighborhood or changing schools. Children may not
want to go to school after a period of being at home because of an
illness or having increased contact with Mom or Dad during a summer
vacation or a holiday break.
When to Seek Help
Parents are usually the first to notice if their child has
problems with emotions or behavior. Your observations, and those of
teachers and other caregivers may lead you to seek help for your
child. If you suspect a problem, consult your pediatrician or
contact a mental health professional. Warning Signs of a Child's
Mental or Emotional Disorder:
The following signs may indicate the need for a professional
evaluation:
Where to Seek Help
Information and referrals regarding the types of services that
are available for children may be obtained from:
For More Information
Call The Brook Hospital at 502-426-6380 or 1-800-866-8876
For additional resources, please call 1-800-969-NMHA.
Other Resources:
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Federation of Families for Children’s Mental Health
Phone: 703-684-7710
Family Support America
Phone: 312-338-0900
National Information Center for Children and Youth with
Disabilities
Phone 800-695-0285
National Association of School Psychologists
Phone 301-657-0270
What Every Child Needs for Good Mental Health is one in a series
of pamphlets on children and teen mental health. Other NMHA titles
include:
NMHA offers additional pamphlets on a variety of mental health
topics. For more information or to order multiple copies of
pamphlets, please call 1-800-969-NMHA
